dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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