Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize