Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Randomize
