I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
