I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
