so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
