I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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