ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Randomize
