And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
The uberlube is also flammable
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
