I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
