I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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