yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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