i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Randomize
