I showed him my bush... on skype.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
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