me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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