It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
