Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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