a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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