thus making me awesome and them whores
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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