Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He shit in the fireplace
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
