When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
im holly from the hills drunk
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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