I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize