Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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