i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Randomize
