I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize