pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Randomize
