Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
