If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
