I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
