ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
