Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Randomize
