she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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