At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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