In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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