I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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