There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize