are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Dignity is for republicans.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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