My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
do nipples grow back?
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