Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
