I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize