well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You are a genius and a whore.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize