dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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