I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
