he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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