R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
