Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
