I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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