Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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