Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
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