your thong is hanging out like whoa
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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