it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
