my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize