swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize