i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
