sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
it was like having sex with a tree stump
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
