I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Randomize
