didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
