He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
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