i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
