sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
do nipples grow back?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
