the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
