I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
