I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
