Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
This is my gift to your gina
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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