Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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